My friends, they love my intelligence
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
