she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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