Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
