party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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