i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
