Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
