I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
