i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
