All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
