Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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