How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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