You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
