She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
