I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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