I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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