its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
