Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize