I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Randomize
