Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
She has the best kind of daddy issues
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