Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
