i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
