We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
So much rum. So many feels.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
