so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I am available for nakedness
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
