My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
