I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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