I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Randomize