Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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