One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
