Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I am never drinking with the goths again.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
