Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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