I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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