This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
