dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
