I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
This gyro tastes like lonliness
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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