I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
