Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Life is so much better after having sex.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Randomize
