I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
