Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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