Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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