but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
