are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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