just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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