I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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