Just cropdusted the office
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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