GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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