Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
