Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
