I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
