Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
How does one acquire holy water?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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