So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Bring me that man meat
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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