I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
