dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
