marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
