We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
