I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
