You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
