you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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