She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
