Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
